Making Eye Contact

Many of my executive clients are challenged
to remember the names of the multitude of
individuals working for and around them.
They buy books on name recognition and about
creating new habits. For the most part, this
works, at least for a while.

What is their goal? In the rush of their
fast-paced days, these leaders simply want
others to know how much they care, to make
their employees feel valued and appreciated.

You would be able to establish the same click
when you cannot bring up the individual's
name by the simple joy of direct and
deeply-earnest eye contact? The Wholesale Article Club

In First Impressions, What You Don't Know
About How Others See You, authors Ann Demarais,
Ph.D. and Valerie White, Ph.D. write the
following about eye contact:

Eye contact is a clear indication of interest,
especially in American culture. We normally
look others in the eye most of the time we
are talking to them. The rest of the time we
may be looking at their mouths, other parts
of their faces, or briefly away. If you know
your own eye-contact pattern, you are in a
position to control the messages you want to
send. If you want to show interest, you can
hold your gaze longer, even just a fraction
of a second longer than normal. Most people
are very aware of being looked at and will feel
this small difference—getting the message that
you like them or find them appealing.

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I know from my years of teaching networking
workshops, that the main reason you might forget
names is that you are distracted by what you are
going to say to this person, thus focusing on
yourself rather than the individual with whom
you are speaking. It would be so simple to just
change your focus to them!

I've also learned that only 7% of what you
communicate is in the form of 'words.The balance
of non-verbal communication lies in bodily
movement and that includes your visual connection.
According to Demarais and White, it only takes
four seconds to make a first impression. In the
first few moments of a conversation, what do you
think would be most effective - looking the
individual directly in his eye or mumbling about
your inability and sorrow over forgetting his name?

This week, release your inner pressure to remember
names. Focus instead on a deeper form of recognition
and communication that you care -- look deeply into
the artwork of each individual's eyes. You can reap
rich rewards for both you and the person who's name
you cannot remember by know how this simple eye
contact technique affects him. Enjoy your discoveries
and have a grand week.

Hoselita Ikoli

Rising up to challenges
getting to greater heights.
wondering about Life and the
way things work generally.

About The Author
Ann Golden Eglé?


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